I now have a fire to do better in time trials and take them more seriously after the nightmare of going to the prologue of the Tour of Washington county ten minutes late and not havng a warm up. Terrible preparation on my behalf and the disappointment of losing that much entry money was a pisser.
After seeing guys like Art Browne and my friend Paul Lengermann going out to the team time trial and doing an earlier time at church creek and also the team one I am in a state of admiration for said individuals who have the heart and self sacrifice to endure soo much pain. Good pain that earlier in my years as a racer I would accept and endure.. now I wonder if I am just trying to enter what I can do with ease and comparative less pain. An attitude I never admire and I am beside myself for lapsing into such a complacent mode. I was angry at the official who would not give me a new start time last weekend, but I am more than over it and I realize that to accomodate for one is to do soo for all and thats a form of weaness. Weakness is something of which I detest to a degree. Therefore its a contradictory attitude on my behalf to expect or ask someone to display a behavior for which I have little respect. As for the team I ride on this year, I tried to convince them of the value of the team time trial and the individual one congruent with my recent realization, but to no avail. ( granted it was a couple days in advance of said event) I hate having little influence on the direction of the team I ride for and it will sit with me for awhile. I have never liked not being listened to since childhood which to my recollection was the constant with a gifted twin and an older brother. Cest la vie, but one should be aware of the things that one can change. Anyway, congratulations to all the riders who faced today the most honest challenger out there; the clock.